Assimilation

Was idly discussing the subject of accents with my Incredibly Cute Wife the other day and bemoaning my inability to master an American accent that I can turn on at will to avoid lack of comprehension in certain contexts.

ICW: “Never mind, honey.”
MW: “But I want to fit in!”
ICW: “Says the truck-driving, cowboy-boot-wearing, cowboy-hat-wearing, baseball-obsessed gun owner! I don’t think you need to worry about fitting in.”

She may have a point.

Kitteh vom: my favourite thing

Marvellous. Just returned from the Post Office to find that One Of My Wife’s Cats* had decided that the living room carpet was missing a feline accoutrement and that a pile of puke was just the thing to complete the feng shui of the room.

* We have four cats; Willow is officially my Incredibly Cute Wife’s cat and Chairman Miaow is officially my cat. Molly and Toothless are unofficially ICW’s and mine respectively. However, whenever any of them does anything bad they are all ICW’s cats. Capitalised and italicised for emphasis, too. As in:

“Once again, Your Cat has just covered my hat wth hair”.

The surreal sayings of ICW

My fabulous and Incredibly Cute Wife says some quite strange things from time to time.  This is especially likely when she doesn’t think things through before she blurts them out, often leading quality double entendres, unintended puns and “WTF?” moments.

For instance, some time ago she decided to approach me from behind in the kitchen and hit me with her knee. She then exclaimed “I kneed you in the butt!”  I raised an eyebrow and said “Well, ok, whatever floats your boat. Bend over, then.”

Last night’s gem: “Just get some cream cheese and put it on your thingy”.